I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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