And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just pee around me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
