I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
