That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
