they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
