I can tuck mytits in my pants
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
