They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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