she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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