She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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