Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
