I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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