I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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