it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
