do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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