I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My ass is underappreciated
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
