My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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