You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Alive.
So much puke
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
