giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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