sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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