ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
