It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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