Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
