if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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