Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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