Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
