when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
