I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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