I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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