I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
