If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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