Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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