I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
only if we run a train.
done.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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