So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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