Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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