You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
