Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
