I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
