that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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