So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
