garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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