alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
