my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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