a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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