Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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