last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
