dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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