Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
