like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
