I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
