I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
