Kiss
Puke
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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