i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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