dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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